It seems we are a generation intent on change; changing the culture and traditions of the generations before us. It could be asked weather or not this change in Australian traditions has been beneficial, or has Australia become a throwaway society? While Australia can be viewed as a throwaway society, it looks as though it has led to a healthier way of life. Some relevant issues to be raised when considering weather or not Australia is making a shift in traditions and culture are parenting, religious lifestyle, promiscuity and homosexuality.
The way of parenting and raising children has for many generations had a big focus on a physical form of discipline. The approach taken as a parent towards children was to be somewhat intimidating and scare children into good behaviour; a case of the parent gaining respect of their offspring from fear of consequence rather than love and admiration. Smacking, yelling and being forceful was the only way known to parents when trying to raise good kids. Although it could be considered in this generation through more education, that this method of parenting was not the best choice, the result was still a household of children that never dared show disrespect or bad behaviour.
It has been recognised today that physical discipline and long lived traditions of parenting is no longer acceptable. New studies have proved children can be taught manners and respect without using the ‘old wooden spoon’. Parents are now using techniques such as time out and using toys as currency to encourage good behaviour in their children. This different approach and shift in perspective has shown that physical discipline is not necessarily the most effective.
In the past, going to church every Sunday was considered a lifestyle; however attitudes and the amount of commitment have shifted. Traditionally, to those who chose to attend church would also choose a saint-like lifestyle. Drinking, smoking, fornicating and adultery were all considered severe sins and were taken very seriously by the church and fellowship. In some faiths not much has changed and this theory has remained dogmatic and unnegotiable. However many Pentecostal and Christian faiths hold a group of people that bend the traditional rules. Weather it is a case of individuals taking certain aspects of religion less seriously or that the bible is now being reinterpreted, it is unknown to me. Whatever the true reason for this shift, it is as a consequence, encouraging more youth to attend church on a Sunday. By not putting all the focus on man made guidelines and steering away from self righteousness (judging others) it leaves room for what’s important- to love God. The rest seems to fall into place.
Promiscuity, as a rule, has always been hidden in our society. It is something that has traditionally been considered as unacceptable behaviour and severely frowned upon. The problem with ignoring promiscuity is that it won’t make it disappear and the effects of these actions will only continue to grow as a consequence. Teenage pregnancy and rapid spread of sexually transmitted diseases is just a couple of the regrettable outcomes.
It was realised that by keeping promiscuity hidden, people are remaining uneducated and the judgemental attitude of society can form rebellious acts. Promiscuity is still looked down on in this generation, but certainly not ignored. The positive effect of opening our eyes to this behaviour has brought recognition that education and awareness for youth can reduce the number of those making a choice, sexually, that doesn’t necessarily serve them well. Furthermore, there are now help lines, clinics and charity based groups putting more focus on the potential underlying issues and reducing statistics that way. Overall there is an acceptance that promiscuity and unsafe sex does exist, yet in order to rectify, Australians are now accepting more responsibility and accountability for youth, by offering a fair choice through education.
Homosexuality in our earlier generations has not been understood and most certainly rubbing against the grain of what’s ‘right’. But it is slowly being realised that we all as human beings deserve the right to live a life with choice and freedom.
Australian society liked to strongly keep the tradition of marrying young and raising a family. It was almost like a robotic process that everyone followed and to act otherwise you could be faced with ridicule or be ostracised. Homosexuality was not a topic spoken of very often, and if spoken about, the conversation was uncomfortable.
This culture made it difficult for gay men and women to live a satisfying lifestyle. As a consequence men and women lost their sense of identity, sometimes ending in depression or even worse, suicide. There were also men and women living a lie, marrying or keeping their true sexuality a secret to remain a part of their family and social circle. Thankfully today, Australian society has shifted to a place of acceptance in regards to our gay community. This topic and all it entails is much more comfortably discussed amongst family and peers. More parents are now loving and accepting their child’s choice of sexuality. I believe this is due to observing a series of past mistakes and consequences of ignorance. We are learning respect and understanding of each others differences.
The annual Mardi gras parade for example, can be quite confronting to some. This parade however is a time for the gay community to celebrate who they are. It is an opportunity that the rest of us have had everyday for many generations.

Australia is not a throwaway society, but a society of beneficial and healthy change. In comparing the ‘old way’ and the ‘new way’ of Australia’s society, it is clear that Australians are much more aware in the present day that education and acceptance makes positive changes and judgement and ignorance makes unity only but a theory- a distant dream.
Some would argue that traditions are supposed to stick; although history has shown that traditions need to change if they become a hindrance to moving forward, in knowledge and a better way of life.

I’m a huge fan of ”Mamamia” blogs by Mia Freedman..Im sure alot of you know who she is I was reading through a few of her blogs last this afternoon whilst I sipped on Gloria Jeans coffee, when I came across a really interesting story that she’s posted. Its about a woman called Laura Munson who has shared her new beaut theory on avoiding a divorce! I couldnt resist the title! One of the things that we all, male or female, fear, is to be told we are not loved by the one we love…and this woman tells her tale of this fear becoming a reality, when she least expected it, and how she came out the other end of it with her marriage and husband still in one piece. But this is no regular tale, nothing of what you would expect, thats for sure! She has written a book about her experience to share with the women of the world. This message has had a massive response, and now I can see why.
I have an extract of a piece she wrote for the NY daily, you MUST read this and let me know what you think! Im almost convinced that she’s really onto something here…..

LET’S say you have what you believe to be a healthy marriage. You’re still friends and lovers after spending more than half of your lives together. The dreams you set out to achieve in your 20s — gazing into each other’s eyes in candlelit city bistros when you were single and skinny — have for the most part come true.
Two decades later you have the 20 acres of land, the farmhouse, the children, the dogs and horses. You’re the parents you said you would be, full of love and guidance. You’ve done it all: Disneyland, camping, Hawaii, Mexico, city living, stargazing.
Sure, you have your marital issues, but on the whole you feel so self-satisfied about how things have worked out that you would never, in your wildest nightmares, think you would hear these words from your husband one fine summer day: “I don’t love you anymore. I’m not sure I ever did. I’m moving out. The kids will understand. They’ll want me to be happy.”
But wait. This isn’t the divorce story you think it is. Neither is it a begging-him-to-stay story. It’s a story about hearing your husband say “I don’t love you anymore” and deciding not to believe him. And what can happen as a result.
Here’s a visual: Child throws a temper tantrum. Tries to hit his mother. But the mother doesn’t hit back, lecture or punish. Instead, she ducks. Then she tries to go about her business as if the tantrum isn’t happening. She doesn’t “reward” the tantrum. She simply doesn’t take the tantrum personally because, after all, it’s not about her.
Let me be clear: I’m not saying my husband was throwing a child’s tantrum. No. He was in the grip of something else — a profound and far more troubling meltdown that comes not in childhood but in midlife, when we perceive that our personal trajectory is no longer arcing reliably upward as it once did. But I decided to respond the same way I’d responded to my children’s tantrums. And I kept responding to it that way. For four months.
Well, he didn’t move out.
Instead, he spent the summer being unreliable. He stopped coming home at his usual six o’clock. He would stay out late and not call. He blew off our entire Fourth of July — the parade, the barbecue, the fireworks — to go to someone else’s party. When he was at home, he was distant. He wouldn’t look me in the eye. He didn’t even wish me “Happy Birthday.”
But I didn’t play into it. I walked my line. I told the kids: “Daddy’s having a hard time as adults often do. But we’re a family, no matter what.” I was not going to suffer. And neither were they.
MY trusted friends were irate on my behalf. “How can you just stand by and accept this behavior? Kick him out! Get a lawyer!”
I walked my line with them, too. This man was hurting, yet his problem wasn’t mine to solve. In fact, I needed to get out of his way so he could solve it.
I know what you’re thinking: I’m a pushover. I’m weak and scared and would put up with anything to keep the family together. I’m probably one of those women who would endure physical abuse. But I can assure you, I’m not. I load 1,500-pound horses into trailers and gallop through the high country of Montana all summer. I went through Pitocin-induced natural childbirth. And a Caesarean section without follow-up drugs. I am handy with a chain saw.
I simply had come to understand that I was not at the root of my husband’s problem. He was. If he could turn his problem into a marital fight, he could make it about us. I needed to get out of the way so that wouldn’t happen.
Privately, I decided to give him time. Six months.
I had good days, and I had bad days. On the good days, I took the high road. I ignored his lashing out, his merciless jabs. On bad days, I would fester in the August sun while the kids ran through sprinklers, raging at him in my mind. But I never wavered. Although it may sound ridiculous to say “Don’t take it personally” when your husband tells you he no longer loves you, sometimes that’s exactly what you have to do.
Instead of issuing ultimatums, yelling, crying or begging, I presented him with options. I created a summer of fun for our family and welcomed him to share in it, or not — it was up to him. If he chose not to come along, we would miss him, but we would be just fine, thank you very much. And we were.
And, yeah, you can bet I wanted to sit him down and persuade him to stay. To love me. To fight for what we’ve created. You can bet I wanted to.
But I didn’t.
I barbecued. Made lemonade. Set the table for four. Loved him from afar.
And one day, there he was, home from work early, mowing the lawn. A man doesn’t mow his lawn if he’s going to leave it. Not this man. Then he fixed a door that had been broken for eight years. He made a comment about our front porch needing paint. Our front porch. He mentioned needing wood for next winter. The future. Little by little, he started talking about the future.
It was Thanksgiving dinner that sealed it. My husband bowed his head humbly and said, “I’m thankful for my family.”
He was back.

Hmmmm, what do you think?….Convinced?….Im dyyyyying to know!!

I’ve just come out the other end of a domestic, via text message with a girl I thought was a friend…a great friend! And Im left feeling drained and asking myself 100 questions as to why this girl cant see logic, even if it bit her in the armpit!…

I have struggled with friends my whole life. Struggled to find people in the world that understand me. I know this is a common issue thats battled amongst many and I have come to the conclusion that in most cases its me not you…but there are definitely the few cases where its YOU not MEEEEEE!

As a teenager I was very aggressive and defensive…Always thinking the world was out to get me. (Mum still has her moments where she tells me I still am!….Oh and the occasional boyfriend I suppose) ….I would always assume that stare on the train or bus meant that they hated how I looked or despised the fact that I was pushing a pram around at 17…Or those girls that giggled as I walked past MUST have been talking about me. It was so tiring. No one can live like that for too long. There always has to come a day where you stop, take a step back and re-confirm…realising, the world doesn’t revolve around me!

Although, when you make this change…what follows is a much more awakened perspective, and can consequently hurt you more than what it did when you just turned back called them a bitch and got on with your day! I have done alot of soul searching over the last few years, and I gotta say, the word ‘sorry’ has become a friend Im quite comfortable with these days when it needs to visit…but at the same time, the soul searching has allowed a more confident Amy to shine. An Amy that can stand up for herself in a more mature way and most certainly more articulately. So now Im faced with some of my friends not enjoying the truthful answers too much at all.

This girl I had a fight with, our whole friendship, has constantly preached about God to me and made acts of philanthropy and good Samaritans (Only when being watched mind you) as though I dont know a thing about how to appreciate a greater power. She constantly judged me on the pettiest things…ie- when I would say ”No buy your own smokes…” to a drunken but obviously employed young man…and try make me feel guilty. I would keep my mouth closed. But as soon as I tried to give her a thought of mine back…BAM! Attitude, walls, fever, hyperventilation of another kind! Whoa!
But it came to the point where a button of hers was pushed and this good Christian woman lashed out at me with the most hurtful of things…I was stunned! I quickly remembered that all people show their true colours eventually…and it has nothing to do with who you are, what you say and how many favours you do for them…but everything to do with just yet another opportunity to respond to them in a way that allows you to be proud and strong in walking away and leaving them be.

Unfortunately, betrayal is not uncommon in friendships…and we need to remember our own self worth in these moments and not get bogged down with their snooze through life! So long as we can turn inwards and take a good look in the mirror at ourselves, we need not worry what they think or say.

People have all sorts of disguises and its up to you to remain awake….and to never hold a disguise of your own x

AmyJ.

As the rivers flow, the sky is blue then silver then blue again, the trees showing their versatile beauty in every season and the vastness and depth of the ocean; my love for you is as magnificent as the exquisiteness in creation itself.
You are my river my sky my every season beauty and it has no last part or measure.
You transcend motherhood and exude splendour in every thought you contain, every word you speak, every touch you give and move you make.
You have me in ore of how deep your love is for me and your unwavering ability to heal the places of weakness within my soul, restoring it to its fullness.
My Mother is an angel who has been given to me for a lifetime of guidance and love. Without you, my existence would seem so much less.

I will always hold you most precious in the eternity of my heart.
I sincerely and wholly love you Mum.

This drug is giving me nothing but time

Hello sweet substance of ignorance

You give me temporary tollerance

My body sits in this place external of ME

Allowing me to just exist-just be

Body! You give me pain; you ache

As a result its the best of me you take

Give me back my oneness

Give me back my happiness

Stop draining my mind!

I beg you to once again treat me kind……Please body mind and soul- I beg.

Hello sweet substance of ignorance

Giving me temporary tollerance

I know that sweet taste is only your disguise

I know deep down you’re the exact evil I despise!

In one night, only several hours..

I have complete understanding of your powers

Your power to bring addiction

because you take away the friction

But at the same time cause me great infliction

You are such an impossible contridiction

In my current place of darkness and stress; remorse and misery- I repress

Stay away from me!!………

No…..Please stay close to me……

at least in distant reach….

I need you sweet substance

just to remain in this state of blissful absense.

F#^* you for being my easy found fix

My tongue again is craving your mix.

You best not be forever

But I havent the strength to say No or never

A ciggarette just wont do

Youre my reckless new love, all I want is you.

So go ahead and run through my viens

As your evil does for many of soul’s pains

But Ill have you be no more a secret

Loved ones and love itself wont let me keep it

Through the power of love-

It will not forever be you that brings relief.

By Amy J

Barbie has cleavage!??… What the hell?…I remember the days of cabbage patch kids and rainbow bright! Barbie has been around for what, 50 years now and obviously needs to keep up with the trend and times, but CLEAVAGE?! Seriously, what are they thinking?
Long gone are the days of playing in the yard with a little tea set or running under the sprinkler, now it’s raiding mums makeup draw and wanting to wear lip gloss to school!
The simplicity of child’s play is being challenged through so many different things and I struggle at times, to keep a firm hold on my daughter’s innocence.

My daughter’s school was putting on a concert recently, and were encouraging kids that were in the school choir to do solo performances as well as a group performance. They could choose their own song and costume and then audition in front of their music teacher. Bella asks me for some suggestions as to what would be a good song…Well didn’t I feel special. So off I go onto different music/lyric sites to find a song I thought would be good. I downloaded some tracks from Aladdin, Beauty and the beast, even a couple from High school musical (thinking that’s kinda cool)…*buzzer* Wrong! When I took these suggestions to Bella, she rolled her eyes at me saying-
‘MUM! Seriously, what were you thinking?…I want to sing Rhianna or Beyonce’, what about Lady GaGa?’’ Can I remind you, my little baby is 11! How does she even know some of these artists. On top of this, she comes to me one night during Master Chef, dressed in tights, boob tube and a pair of my boots…
‘Mum, do you like it?…I want to wear this at the concert.’’
Far out, what planet did I land on, and when did you start wanting to style it up and sing Lady GaGa?…I definitely had a twilight moment.
At the risk of being an ‘uncool Mum’ I had to put my foot down. The consequences of that was Bella pulling out of the concert altogether out of self pity.
All of this got me thinking about all the influences our children face, and how little we can really blame our kids for being this way.
How can we compete with rows and rows of glam dolls in the department store? Even M rated shows on tele are coming on earlier and earlier in the evening and kids with all their knowledge and confidence in using the internet and surrounded by technology like Ipods and mobile phones, it’s endless.
My dilemma is at what point do we draw the line? I want my daughter to feel as though she fits in with her peers but I also want her to ENJOY being a child!…

The sad thing is, it doesn’t just effect our kids, influences effect our age group and beyond too. Cosmo’s, TV shows, fashion trends, models, movies, celebrities….the list goes on. The pressure we put on ourselves to look our best even when hosing the damn lawn, is so tiring! Women in their 20’s are planning for plastic surgery or worse, already had it. Women in their 50’s are spending hard earned money on skincare collections that promise the world and cost as much as the pharmacy itself. The more you look around, the more you see these influences and pressure.

I have been guilty of it, flicking through magazines, wishing I was that thin, or had hair like them, or skin like them…but there comes a point where you just have to learn to look in the mirror and start loving what you see. I mean, if models are complaining about self image, then we really are ALL suffering from this forced infliction of vanity and self absorption.

We all know that inner beauty and strength is what ultimately shines through. This statement is as commonly recognised as vanity and alteration itself. But why don’t we practice it?… Some might say, its easier said than done, but is it? Is it easier and less hassle to spend money on plastic surgery, latest fashions, expensive makeup and skincare cluttering our bathroom draws and our life?…Maybe not.

I’m set on making a stand with my daughter. I’m set on searching deeper, right into the back of those toy store shelves, to find a dolly that represents a realistic view of what we are. I’m set on being a good example as a mother and primary influence in my daughters life, by staring into the mirror less, being more aware of the self criticizing words that can come out of my mouth, and simply taking pride in my appearance rather than glamming it up… Ultimately, we can blame the consumers and media empires all we like, and feel helpless that we cant change the direction our children’s generation is heading…But I think the change IS in our hands, if we just mother our children well, we point out to them their inner beauty each and everyday and that its wonderful to have a different reflection to your best friend. It starts with us and ends with us doesn’t it. Well this is where my hope rests anyway along with the hope for a son next time round 

Good Luck to all you wonderful mothers out there! xo

Life. Some say it’s a box of chocolates. Some get all those chocolates and others just get to lick the wrapping. Some say it’s a journey into your highest potential. Some get a first class ticket, while others spend all their time chasing that damn train; in hope of following those lucky ones to the milk and honey. Life. Some say it’s all in God’s will. Some pray, sing and witness their way through, while others just fornicate, steal and kill. Some say you just take the good with the bad and hope for the best. Some get the best while the others just keep hoping. Whatever this thing called Life is meant to be…I’m here breathing, feeling and hoping, one day, that the truth will smack me square in the face!
I’m far from perfect; I’m just an ordinary girl. I have my own fingerprint, and the heart God gave me. I swear and curse, I manipulate and lie, I chase the easy road while occasionally sussing out the hard. I pray to the sky, but I don’t ask for help. I love my dad as much as I hate him and my mother runs through my veins. I can be a coward and I can be brave, depends on the weather forecast of my mood swings. I am free but caged, I can sit in that box until a knight frees me; otherwise I’ll just keep dreaming that dream that blurs those steel bars. My head is like a fish bowl and the mixture of chemicals is taking an effect..I can’t keep the water clean. Life. It’s Life. Just my life.
Ever read the newspaper or watch the news on that box in your living room and feel completely separate from it, but overwhelmed with despair? I do. Ever look at a homeless person on the street and know it will never be you? I don’t. Ever wish you could fly into the horizon and see it from a new perspective? I do. Ever wish you could change the world to eliminate hunger, natural disasters, bring justice and peace…but also make everyone so blissfully happy and equal that currency isn’t even used; that way I can finally be rich in the ‘’fruits of life’’. Sometimes I think it would be a much easier task to change the world than to actually obtain a mammoth amount of its currency and wealth. You know, in the real world and all. Maybe if I could be a chimpanzee in a jungle far far away; only have the small worry of where I can find my next banana; or what tree will be most comfortable to sleep on tonight. Yeah, that sounds nice. Why can’t I do that?……Enjoy that banana chimpanzee. They’re great covered in chocolate by the way.

Until next time…That’s all AmyJ has to say.

Beer stained carpets, sticky bar tops, red brothel lighting, pills and old tired strippers with their tits in your face…….WOW, where can I get my ticket??!…….Awesome!

I feel like the only girl in the universe that has been such a sour cow about this topic…but I felt at the time, like I was about to have an emotional overload with the stress that was being brought on watching my man plan his single mingle night in Melbourne (where they breed the supermodels)
Id like to think I’m reasonably secure in myself and even more in my relationships…full of faith in Love. But far out! How much does a girl gotta give in here to the male species needs, for physical entertainment and live BOOBS!!

My now EX FIANCE’ [Jarrod] and I had many late night pillow talks on this subject trying to find a happy compromise. At first, I thought I was being clever by approaching the situation like this….
”Hey Jarrod, I was thinking the best way to handle the bucks and hens nights and leave the decision with you is…If you have strippers…I will too, so Ill leave it with you.”
All seemed to be looking up with my attempt of cruel manipulation, until he said later on…that he doesn’t need to have strippers but he cant control his mates…who are organizing the event.
Hmm…
Jarrod 1…
Amy 0…

Well this led to me taking another approach…
”Jarrod how about you have your bucks on a private boat?…that way you can steer clear of town, you can have ONLY who was invited with you and do your own thing…fab!”
Well this suggestion went down well..He agreed that was a good idea.

But for some reason my mind kept racing with different scenarios that could take place (go wrong) in the duration of this hideous and unnecessary ”party”……..I began to lose the plot…officially!

Till one morning just I cracked!…Here I was putting my ‘face’ on and stewing randomly about this….Till I opened my big gob and said to him…
”You know what!…I’m not going to have a traditional hens night!…Wearing a $2 veil on my head, flirting my nearly 30 year old ass with random boys throughout the city and drinking through penis shaped straws IS JUST PLAIN OUT TACKY!!! I don’t WANT to!…I’m going to take my girls to an exclusive and elite day spa in Melbourne for 6 hours,… a week before the wedding and treat me and the girls…then of course, Ill be glowing and beautified for my wedding day, while you drag your hung over ass to the alter!”
Jarrod reply’s with…”Is there something you need to get out of your system there Amy?..Cos there are nicer ways to say it…”

Poor Jarrod. (Not completely sure if Im being sarcastic or not there)….

But inevitably I have realised through this experience that I’m a sour cow and I am against the man whose arm I AM ON..having a bucks night.
But to be completely honest the way I summed it up and justified it in my own logic was this……Should I feel bad for wanting to put the equivalent, of a 45 carrot yellow diamond, on the busiest street in Melbourne for 6 or 7 hours, hoping no one will tarnish it or worse, steal it away from me???…I don’t think so; Because when you love a man, that’s kinda what you’re doing when you throw them out there for the strippers to eat up.

And just for the record, any woman who has one of those perfect relationships where they never act like a BIG SOUR COW, disagree with him, trust him (naww) to the ‘moon and back’ and oh just know he would NEVER cheat!……Good for you!….Where’s his brother?????

AmyJ signing off, till next time…